Tuesday 16th

I log in to collect my e-mails. Good grief, there's scores of them! Then I remember that utility I installed on the server yesterday that forwards to me all the mails containing the word 'sex'. Surely they can't all be... They can. I scan them quickly and make a few notes for future reference. Then I file them away for safe keeping. Information like this can be very useful when you're in a tight spot.

The last e-mail in the list is a broadcast message from Schacht, the Director of Finance. In order to reduce costs there's to be a budget cut of 10% across the board with effect from tomorrow.

This is outrageous. How am I supposed to be able to afford all those new reverse engineering tools that I need? Some decisive action is definitely called for. I visit the drinks machine in the hope that it might generate some inspiration. After the third cup of coffee the germ of an idea occurs to me. The budget database is held on a secure file service on the Accounts Department's Netware 3 server. The server box is in the Operations Room, which is a bit of a problem because I'm still not welcome there after that unfortunate business the week before last. But at lunch time there will only be one operator present, and it shouldn't be too difficult to create a diversion. Once I can get to the server console I'll be able to do what I want.

I prepare the ground by locating a set of Netware installation disks in the store room and decompressing the SERVER.EXE file. I rename the file and then use a binary editor to change the names of the bindery files inside it. Now all I need is to bring down the Accounts server, copy my modified executable into the directory, and run it. When it can't find the bindery, because it's looking in the wrong place, it will assume it's a new installation and create a supervisor account with no password. After that it's plain sailing.

Lunch time approaches. I leave the building by the back exit and sneak round until I'm underneath the Operations Room window. Cautiously I peek in. As I thought, there is only one operator present. It's Rodney, the contractor who's always boasting about his new Porsche. Perfect. I hurry out to the car park and make a note of his registration number. Then I breeze into reception and report that I've noticed a car with its headlights left on. The receptionist thanks me and looks up the number in her book. While she's dialling Rodney I run along the corridor until I'm just past the Operations Room door and stop to tie my shoe lace. Yes, I know it's rather hackneyed, but the old techniques are often the best. As expected, Rodney rushes out without stopping to close the door. I catch it before it latches and slip in quickly.

Now there's no time to lose. I bring down the Accounts server and run my modified version. Then I log in as supervisor and load the budget database. If my budgets are going to be cut by 10% tomorrow I'll need to inflate them by 11% today to compensate. I do this by transferring some money from the Marketing Director's entertainment fund. Judging by the size of it, nobody will notice the loss anyway. With seconds to spare, I commit the changes, log out, down the server, load the original one and make my escape out of the window.

Whew! Enough excitement for one day.

Later in the afternoon, the Operations Manager walks past my door looking distinctly gloomy. For some reason his wife isn't speaking to him, and he's going to have to spend the night in a hotel. Being the friendly chap I am, I offer to help cheer him up by buying him a drink after work. He agrees and we spend the evening at the local. By closing time he's nearly unconscious, while I have stayed sober so I can drive. Unfortunately I don't know which hotel he's meant to be staying at, and he's too far gone to remember. I suppose I'll just have to drive him home to his wife; I'm sure she'll understand. Before we leave the pub I bribe the barmaid to put a smudge of lipstick on his collar. Maybe that'll give his wife something to talk about in the morning.